i got the deployment blues........

Well....im sitting here alone so i thought it may be a good time for me to blog. I havnt written in a while, this deployment has finally gotten the best of me. I dont sleep at night and everyone keeps trying to get me to go to the drs but i just cant afford another bill. So...today i was driving and i blacked out again, only this time i drove right through a red light and a car almost crashed right into the side of my car. That was the final straw....i had to do something about it, I went and talked to my Aunt who is an RN. She took my BP and it was really high. Im not sure what that means but something has got to change. Im not sure if its just because Michael is gone and im just stressed out or if something is really wrong with me! And on top of all this people just seem to run all over me!! I am so sick of Muskogee, Icannot wait to move back to Ft. Hood. Now dont get me wrong im gonna miss my family but i just dont like it here. Im so ready for Michael to come home!! He comes home on R&R in september and i cant wait! It seems like forever since i have seen him! I want to finally be in his arms again, i want to feel his kiss! Its not too much longer...December is slowly but surely coming! Anyway...im gonna try and eat. I will try to be a better blogger from now on.

an update!.....

Ok...So its been a long time since i have blogged. Michael has been gone for almost 7 months...and i am doing considerably well. The time has been going by pretty fast and I have been trying to keep myself busy. He should come home on R&R in september and I am super stoked. I have been waiting sooo long for this and every elses hubby keeps coming home and I keep getting super moody about it! I am not being rude but i am just sick of seeing everyone elses men come home and mine gets to stay behind! I am so ready to move back to Texas, I love being around my family but I am just so sick of all of this drama that comes from these people in Muskogee!! Well they did manage to move all of the U.S. troops out of Iraq...the bad news is....i only get to talk to him every week:( But thats better than nothing at all! Anyways...thats an update on me for a while! Amanda should be happy!! lol

Lonely!

Well...its almost been a week since Michael has left and I dont think it has fully sunk in yet! I Just miss him so much! I am trying to hold it together as best I can! Just trying to stay busy with family and friends! It seems like FOREVER until he comes home. If I was alone and in my own house I think that I would be crying all the time...but since I am staying with family I think that they expect me to keep it in. Which I know is completely false! I just dont't wanna break down in front of them. I think about him all the time..is he safe, is he lonely, what if his deployment gets extended?...I think of all the negative. I want to cry so much but i just cant...its hard for me to. I'm not really sure why! I am really lonely right now...I need him here! I need him here for comfort...to make sure he's okay!! I dont know if he is fine in Iraq...I dont understand this war..why are we there? So many soldiers are losing their lives over there and the war is pointless!! They need to come home!...They are all spending the holidays away from their families and for what?.....I am just in a very sad mood tonight!!

We got orders.....

Well....it's official....my honey is deploying December 13th. I am really not ready yet! It came up way too fast. I am hoping..(not sure it will happen) that out new president will do what he said he is gonna do and bring our troops home!! I heard on the news a few days ago that they are spending $10 billion a month for our troops to be over there!! $10 billion!!! That is why our economy has gone down the drain is because Bush thinks he is doing the world a favor by having them over there!...but he doesn't have to watch his spouse leave for a 12 month deployment....wondering if they are gonna come home or if they are gonna come home in 1 peice! It just tares me up inside!! Thank god we only have a year and a half left and then we can leave the Army forever! Don't get me wrong....I am so proud of him but it kills me to have to let go of him AGAIN!!! It is too much! Anyway....thats all I really wanted to say! God Bless America!!

Deployments!

Well....this is my very first blog entry and I have just the thing that I want to talk about!! Deployments!...Me and my husband have been married almost a year...he is in the Army and about to deploy angain!! He deployed for 4 months last year...i handled pretty good last time. But im not sure how im gonna do this time. He's gonna be gone for 12 months this time. I can't cope really well this type of thing. I knew what I was getting into when I married him...but I don't like being away from him! It's just too much! They don't get paid enough to put their lives in danger! And to top it all off I am away from my family...and its really hard! I just need the support of family. He leaves in December!....right before Christmas and right before out 1 year wedding anniversary! It sucks!!!